Anonymous asked: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are grey You never know, dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away
you know i use to sing that in my friends ear but replace “sunshine” with “hostage”
Walkin through Wal Mart, Ryan decided to ride on the end of the cart.
Random people behind us are filming, and suddenly he ducks, and I realize I can see where I’m going now. As we stop, the lady says we’re adorable, and we question what they’re filming: “oh, just a video of people being happy and smiling for a girls camp video.”
We shall randomly appear in some Young Women Girls Camp video, and it will be halarious.
Gonna closet cosplay with Ryan.
Dean and Samantha Winchester.
the best thing that ever happened to me in high school was about 6 years ago our teacher never showed up for class and neither did the sub so one of the guys in the class just got up and started discussing his various theories about the island in lost and started drawing different diagrams on the board and ranting about his fan theories and everybody just went with it and raised their hands for him like he was the teacher and that was the class.
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
- Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
- Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
- Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
- Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
- Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
- Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
- Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
- Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
- Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
- Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
- Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
- Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
- Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
- Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
- Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
- Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
- Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
- Dad: Fuck the government.
- Dad: Fuck the school board.
- Dad: Close the door.
- Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
- Dad: I love puns.
- Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
- Dad: Please shut up.
- Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
- Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
- Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
- Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
- Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
- Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
- Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
- Dad: They act like I care what they think.
- Dad: I hate homework.
- Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
- Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
I’d feel more comfortable with dudes opening doors for me if instead of saying “ladies first” they said “eagle one is on the premises, make way for madam president, I repeat eagle one is on the premises”